Does Parenting Matters?

Almost every year, best-selling books gain momentary fame with proclamations that parents matter little to children's development, usually suggesting that children grow according to a fixed genetic script, or sometimes that peers and other influences matter more. Some books even argue that children have a bigger impact on parents than parents have on kids (a view we can sympathize with when our toddler is crying at midnight or our teenager is rebelling).

Researchers familiar with the hundreds of studies on parenting are virtually unanimous in agreeing that genes and social influences, in addition to parents, are crucial to understanding why children grow into one kind of person or another. But these same scholars quickly add that child rearing by the family is still the first and foremost influence on most child development outcomes.

The best evidence for the importance of parenting comes from two kinds of studies. The first is of children who are deprived of any or most parental influence, typically children raised in orphanages. The recent case of Rumanian children who spent many years in orphanages with no parent-like figure, for example, re-confirms what earlier studies have shown: most children in such situations sustain
lifelong effects and many never leave institutionalized care. Competent parents matter.

The second form of data comes from experiments where parents are trained to change their child rearing behaviors, and the effects on children's development can be charted. Experiments of this sort solidly prove a cause-and-effect relationship, with changes in parenting behaviors having the power to raise children's intelligence or reduce their juvenile delinquency, for example.

In the apt words of Urie Bronfenbrenner, the family is the "most powerful, the most humane, and by far the most economical system known for building competence and character" in children and adults alike. As the only institution based primarily on love and caring, families teach connectedness and a commitment so strong that we would give our life for each other. More than any other institution, families perform the magic feat of .making and keeping human beings human.

This column is written by Professor, Child and Family Studies; Child Development Specialist, UW-Madison/Extension